Every year, I do a thing that I like to call my Yearend Review. I think about and reminisce on the year, including all the highs and lows that came with it. I try my hardest to close each year like a book. You know, those fancy books that come in a whole matching series? The ones that are so fancy that you’re not allowed to check them out of the library… yeah, it’s like those books. That is exactly how I try to close each year up. Here is a good Spark Note type summary of my fancy library book of 2018. I will include the highs, the lows, and some honorable mentions, of course.
So, let me start with the highs.
This year, those highs came few and far between… or did my standard of a high increase? I don’t know.
I went to China this year in April and it was awesome. Here are some pics!
The Lights Fest
You’ve probably seen it on Instagram, but if you haven’t, The Lights Fest is basically an event where you hang out, listen to some indie music, chill for a while, and then light lanterns into the sky, Tangled style. This was 3 days before my birthday and it was unforgettable, bringing me into my 20th year with true sentiment. Bonus: Peep me in the background of the first picture releasing my lantern into the air like the dramatic person that I know I am.
So I’ve been vegetarian for over a year now, but in August, I started to transition into a primarily vegan diet. Look, it was a tough transition and I will definitely talk about it later, but in short, I developed some adult acne and I had to cut dairy to get rid of it. Now that I consider myself vegan, I have to subtly talk about it in every conversation. Did I mention that I am vegan?
So now we have gotten to the lows.
Let’s get to it then.
Quarter Life Crisis 2.0
I had what I call my second quarter life crisis (Look, I have never claimed to be not dramatic.) Really, all of this is just a funny way to say that I put a lot of time, energy, and love into something as if it were lasting forever just to have the whole “forever” thing not be the case. “It’s fine, I’m fine” became the true saying of the year.
I chose to take another semester off school. Am I ever going to graduate? I began to work full time, so school is no longer the priority that it never was in the first place.
I way overbooked myself. I flew far too close to the sun. Honestly, I can compare the way I managed my time for part of this year to be similar to the way Michael Scott manages his time.
Unlike all the cross-fit people that I follow, I peaked in my weight. Honestly if you didn’t gain a ton of weight this year, you were probably dead or frozen with Walt Disney (we all know that conspiracy, right?).
I went vegan because I got ADULT ACNE.
Yikes. Not to complain… BUUUUUTTTTTTTT nothing vegan is as good as normal food. And can I mention that there is hidden dairy in basically everything? It truly was not that bad once I realized nothing has to be hard now that we have the internet. The first few weeks were miserable, but as soon as I looked up a bunch of vegan blogs and youtube videos, I was just fine.
I subscribed to a monthly vegan snack box. I’ll post about it in the future.
I went to the book tour of one of my favorite authors, Jon Acuff. He wrote a book called Finish about completing goals and it is a game changer.
My car got hit by an 18 wheeler. I was at a stoplight about to turn left and the truck was also turning left and didn’t go wide enough. I saw it coming, braced myself, and let it happen because… what can you do?
So overall, because of all the emotional trauma that I have faced, I’ve been referring to this year as a dumpster fire, a complete and total fail. Trust me, this entire year really felt like a fail. It sucked and I was sad and I felt like I was drowning almost the whole time, but really my biggest dumpster fire fail is that I didn’t ever reframe. If you don’t know about reframing, it’s where you look at your situation or life in a new way or with a new lens (rose colored, anyone?). So, instead of looking at my so called “quarter life crisis” as a crisis, I could have seen it as growing and changing for the better because I truly experienced so much personal growth this year. Regardless of how terrible my year was, I still have a bed, a refrigerator, and a car. These are some things that some people will never have. I have a great family and some really awesome friends. So, why did I choose to let the bad events in my life determine the quality of my entire year? I read a ton of self-help books and I listen to all the podcasts, so I know better than to let myself get into a slump of ungratefulness and yet here I found myself, deep in the funk of life.
All that to say, I am closing this year clean like a fancy library book and I am leaving the ugly habit of ungratefulness in the past. I will be ringing in 2019 with gratitude and a disciplined practice of reframing so that I can finally live the year of happiness that I want and need.